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Do People Like You?

October 13, 2013

Daily ReadDo People Like You?

You’ve met them – remarkably likable people. They’re charming, genuine, and can make a room full of people smile. But what if you’re shy or suck at small talk but want to make a good impression and to make people genuinely like you? Here’s how remarkably likeable people do it:

They lose the power pose. Next time you meet someone, relax, step forward, tilt your head towards them slightly, smile, and show that you’re the one who is honored by the introduction–not them. Show you’re genuinely happy to meet them, and they’ll instantly start to like you.

They embrace the power of touch. Go easy, of course: Pat the other person lightly on the upper arm or a touch on the shoulder as you pass. Make it casual and nonthreatening.

They whip out their social jiu-jitsu – the ancient art of getting you to talk about yourself without you ever knowing it happened. It’s easy. Just ask the right questions. Stay open-ended and allow room for description and introspection. Ask how, or why, or who.

They whip out something genuine. Don’t try to win the “getting to know someone” competition. Try to lose. Be complimentary. Be impressed. Admit a failing or a weakness (no dark secrets). People like the genuine.

They ask for nothing. You know the moment: You’re having a great conversation; you’re finding things in common… and then bam! Someone plays the networking card. Remarkably likeable people focus on what they can do for you–not for themselves.

They “close” genuinely. Go back to the beginning. Shake hands again. Use your free hand to gently touch the other person’s forearm or shoulder. Say, “I am really glad I met you.”

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